January 2008
20 posts
‘Yo buddy you got a cigarette?’ I turned around & he stepped back, palms up. ‘Sorry. You’re just a kid.’ He shook all over. ‘I didn’t know!’
While M showed the video of her cat using the toilet, K leaped towards us. ‘Here’s my baby.’ 95 photos of her mutt fold out from her wallet.
As I walk down 36th, not quite home yet, telling myself not to talk to myself, I wonder just how many people I pass by who think I’m nuts.
I didn’t see him leave for lunch after I gave him the cash & spent the hour waiting for my tea while the lady stared me down for loitering.
He leaned in with a grin and handed the mochas. Another reason I stopped drinking Starbucks. I hate happy baristas & their health insurance.
‘What are you going to make?’ asked the fireman outside C-Town. ‘Pork cutlets & bruschetta.’ They loaded the groceries onto the FDNY truck.
I’ve been dreading the moment I had to admit that I spent Martin Luther King Jr eve calling 11 year olds ‘dick bait fags’ on Halo xbox live.
I huddled in my bed, cocooning the alarm for silence. She woke me with a poke. I thrashed about, flailing my arms. Forgot I had a roommate.
I was dazed in the Jefferson Market library by the gothic spires, stained glass windows and from 36 hours of no sleep thanks to Rock Band.
He announced the 7 was out of commotion. Judging from the Hong Kong eateries and 99? stores in Flushing, he shouldn’t have spoken English.
‘Do they have factories that make babies to produce these placentas?’ ‘They do. It’s called your mom.’ I wonder if they read my recipes.
Rushed tix to Yellow Face was great, except every off color of color joke the guy with orange hair turned to see if it was OK to laugh.
She matched his height in heels but only because of his dreads. ‘It’s not my fault. I didn’t know she’d be here!’ He struggled to keep up.
When the 5th ave bitches don skimpy belts as skirts, and their owners wear matching outfits, how can you deny global warming?
5 am my phone alerts me, ‘Balls Wiggling.’ I text the prankster, ‘You on vibrate or should I come jiggle your nut sacks?’ Sure hope its him.
I got to the store right before close & took a ladder to grab a vent duct. The store owner was yelling in Cantonese. She flung me my change.
Lady in leopard missed a step but flannel guy, his sons& I caught her. ‘My,’ she giggled. ‘The men I fall onto aren’t usually so handsome.’
He breaks stereotypes on the D train. ‘I hate getting called Japanese. They invaded my people for 9 years. 1937 to ‘45. World War II, dog.’
I never knew the W train shuffle until the temperature in Queens dropped so low we refused to move out the door & let the blind lady pass.
This new year I promise my part Rican roommate I’d fuck him. ‘We’ll try a new position,’ I said. ‘The rice on beans.’