October 2007
20 posts
Chasing Youth
Wearing headphones & a pair of skates, he shoots carelessly with his EOS, as if he didn’t care he has to shave his head to hide his balding.
Scheduled Confusion
The local 1 train to South Ferry is running express, but only from 72nd to 34th, the last stop due to construction. ‘Where are we?’
The Drunken Master
Jeans hung low under a dirty shirt, the old boxer spits & swings at the air, one-two, duck, stopping only to turn and grin at our attention.
The Exterminator
‘You got any mice?’ he asked. ‘No.’ ‘Let’s keep it that way.’ He leaned forward to lay a trap, his glass eye rolling back into the socket.
Voluntary Truancy
I couldn’t hold the camera steady when Ondaatje sat next to me. ‘Turn off your phones,’ said the announcer. ‘And no photography.’ Click.
Cruising Grounds
When I hold the door open in Harlem, guys thank me, wink and smile. When I do it at thrift stores in Chelsea the twinks give me dirty looks.
Bad Comedic Timing
‘You know she died, right?’ she asked. ‘Oh,’ I said, realizing why the yo mama jokes I told him were not appropriate.
Tip Toeing through the Tulips
The homeless drag queen threw swear after swear at the laughing Haitian man. ‘Back off, black mother fucker.’ She tip toed back to her cart.
Boredom on Grand St.
He had on two Red Sox caps & leaned on the phone booth, handset hanging over his neck. He hung up, checked his bag, and started moonwalking.
Why I Chinatown Bus It
Another 4 hour ride in a full bus was worth it just to watch my nephew turn 7 and tell me, ‘I like friendship. It’s my favorite compassion.’
Sublime Advertising
The Goth French maid danced under her umbrella, staring at the puddles collecting on stage, wondering how much to charge extra for the rain.
Let Them Eat Slaw
‘I didn’t get any cake,’ Ray said, ‘but there was cole slaw leftover. It was terrible.’ Laurie looked up. ‘We didn’t bring any cole slaw.’
Trunk Appeal
She bent over to get something from the Ferrari. Her husband slapped her ass when he saw us watching, grinned, and then slapped it again.
Sponsor for Equality
‘Do I look like I can donate $5?’ I said to the guy with the clipboard. ‘Are you a faggot?’ he asked, then walked away… Touche.
Twinker Twinker
‘Twinkle twinkle,’ went the little girl’s $2 doll. ‘It’s funny because someone chinese sang it,’ said her mom. I gave her the finger.
About a Bao
‘Do you speak English?’ he asked. ‘Yes.’ ‘Can you order me a pork bun.’ I don’t speak Chinese so I said no. He was more offended than I was.
Pre-Maternity Wear
She tugged at her shirt. ‘It makes me look pregnant.’ Her boyfriend looked her up and down. He said, ‘Are you sure it’s the shirt?’
Suits in Sneakers
‘The cure for alcohol poisoning,’ said the lady in a suit & sneakers, ‘is maturity.’ ‘Really?’ said her friend. ‘They just pump my stomach.’
Hiring for Messiah
‘We’re Jews who believe Jesus is our messiah,’ said the pamphlet. ‘They’re hiring,’ Ray told me. I laughed, but had to stop-He was serious.